It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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