Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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