I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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