we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
