Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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