Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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