batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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