Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
