whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
