ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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