im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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