Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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