Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
