I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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