sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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