If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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