In the future we'll all be gay
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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