This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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