I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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