my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Panties = found
Randomize
