Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize