I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
