it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
