yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
