you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
