a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
