OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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