I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
