I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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