My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
