You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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