he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
