I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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