what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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