Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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