god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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