I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
