Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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