first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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