Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
and you fell through a lawn chair
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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