You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
