the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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