So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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