I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
