I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
