i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
