So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
