Got a toothbrush?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize