He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
