It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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