therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
