Soap is not a condiment
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You have to summon your inner elephant
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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