The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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