wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
