Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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