Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize